Day 24 of what you may ask yourself.., working out?  eating clean? a baby sleeping through the night?!!  While all of these are great goals and great things, none of them are day 24 for me,

My day 24 is the 24th day of deployment.

My hubby left Oct 19th 2019 on his deployment with the Montana National Guard 1-189th Aviation unit., which was 24 days ago.  

It seems so much longer than that, probably because ever since we came home to Montana from Alabama, where he was training to be a Helicopter Pilot, He actually lived an hour and a half from us, and only saw us on the weekends.  So I feel like our Deployment really started July 5th.

today on Day 24, I did finish editing the photo session that I took of my Kids and their Dad before he left. Which you’ll see throughout this post!

This is my second deployment, and already harder.  Of course the first deployment I had a one year old, that was it, and he was the chillest little guy ever.  Now I have my chill little guy who is 10, my lover boy who is 6 and well my demon child and she is 4.

 

The boys have been doing great, they have great friends at school and in our neighborhood that are  keeping them engaged and having fun. I wish I could get them to help around the house more though!

My girl, Miss Mac, doesn’t have anyone close, and she is home with ME A LOT ( insert crying eyes here)  Her and I have always butted heads, I think it has to do with the fact that I thought if I Ever had a girl (which to be honest I didn’t want one), but if I did she would be the sweet girl that the old ladies talk about.  That sit quietly and draw and are just so sweet!   Anywho, she is not that girl. Yet she is a GIRLY GIRl!! Makeup, dresses..Twirly Dresses only, and all sass!  But no sitting sweetly or coloring quietly.  She colors..on the walls and all over herself!! She colors on my couch with red lipstick.. yep that happened on DAY 16!!

She is a daddy’s girl, and I miss the evening or more recently the weekends that Dad comes home and deals with her and she just loves on him.  Even just having a weekend with Him just seemed to calm her.  

It’s been really hard for her, which makes it extra hard for me.  On Day 15..We were getting ready for church and taking a shower and Mac just started uncontrollably crying!! I asked her what was going on, and she kept crying out “I want my Dad, I need Him!” My heart broke for her, and I tried to console her by  telling her I was editing some photos of her and her dad so she can see him, of course like the true Diva she is, said “I can’t even look at pictures of him it makes me too sad!” I just bawled with her, and even had to escape Church and sit in the truck and just bawl!

Yep Deployment is full of random days of just bawling…in case you didn’t know!

I do know that in order to get through this deployment, I have to do some things that help me stay sane!  

For Me it is getting up at 5am and working out, and then morning “journaing” reading from the scriptures and prayer.  My morning journaling is really jotting down some things I am grateful for and setting some intentions..easy breezy!  I’m not perfect at it, but its a goal/ practice I try to do..hopefully all by 6:15 so I can get my little lover boy, K Man, up for his vest and breathing  treatments!!

I also have to set alarms in my phone for everything…Literally everything!!  I have an alarm for Miss Mac’s treatments, I have an alarm for FHE, and to take the trash out on Tuesdays.  I have an alarm that goes off for me to do dinner prep, and I have an alarm for kids to do their chores.  I have an Alarm for when to pick up my girl from preschool, and just recently No Joke, Had to set an alarm to bathe the kids.  I had one of those moments where I was like, “When was the last time you guys showered or bathed?!!” I think it was over a week..soooo Alarm added!!

If any of you know me, you know I don’t enjoy cooking, It’s really just not my thing!  So coming up with doing the meals has been a must for me to at least ease into cooking.  

For instance we have Meatless Mondays, Taco Tuesdays (or anything”mexican”) Beef Day and Chicken Day and Crockpot Day.  I don’t have it down yet and sometimes Monday turns into Mac and Cheese or Raman noodles…but they are getting calories and are alive, so that’s winning in my book!!

 For Breakfast I’m not as structured, but its Waffle Wednesdays and French Toast Fridays..using Fun Word Plays..(is that what that is called?!)

Having that set up has helped me immensely, we did something similar when we were living in Alabama, and It was great. We had Fish Fridays, which we were traveling a lot and the fresh fish around there was AMAZING!!

I keep thinking to myself I’m finally being a traditional wife; cleaning the house, cooking meals, cleaning up after dinner, and laundering and entertaining my children.  But man o man, I get a bit overwhelmed and frustrated with myself that really the house isn’t getting as cleaned as I’d like!! and the laundry is just a disaster!! I’m frustrated that I can’t get all the editing I want to do done, or all my building projects done, or even some fix it things that need to be addressed are still on my TO Do List!!  Arrrgghh!!

Of course Deployments are hard on marriages, really its not surprising to me why service members have higher divorce rates.  

My Hubby and I have been struggling, like its just been quick phone conversations and I’m short with him. Feeling resentful and angry.  I know that this is not what I want so I did some digging on what was up, why am I feeling so detached and feeling like there is no connection!!  

Well, there was not a lot of connecting going on, I think it is normal really.  But in order for me to get through this I need to feel somewhat loved and excited to talk to him.  I went back and read and took the 5 Love languages book and quiz, and it donned on my that my Love language is Quality Time, and Physical Touch!! Yay!! the best ones to have when your spouse is deployed ( not really!) 

So I’m trying to think of some ways that those “needs” can be met while we are so distant from each other.  I read that reading a book together and then discussing that when we talk can help.  It takes away from the mundane (non-connecting) conversations and brings in a quality conversation.   The trick now is trying to find a book we both can agree on!! 

I’ve also come to realize that I need to have quality time in my life, especially since my spouse is deployed, so I’m going to have to ask for it. Which is asking friends to hang out and do things.  I have always been kind of embarrassed to do this, thinking they would be busy or think I’m needy/clinging.  Yet I need this and I’m finally owning it!  Thankfully, seriously Thank the Lord that he has given me a couple of great people that have been there for me in this!  My one Gal doesn’t even wait for me to ask, she comes to me knowing I need it!! Man I just Love her!!

So Goodbye Day 24, we made it through and on to Day 25….

Talk Soon!!

Loves, Hugs and Fist bumps!!

Filled Under : Cami Joy Photography , Cami Miller , Children Photography , Deployment , Family Photography